Taking the first step toward peace!

Today started off as a bad day but after an hour of fighting with her Riley finally took a nap for the first time in a week! She hasn't been napping very well only here and there but she still NEEDS a nap. By dinner time she is so cranky and sometimes will start dropping off at the table or siting down. I'm not sure why all of a sudden she won't nap she use to be such a good napper! After lunch about 1pm she would go in and drift off to sleep quietly and quickly.

Not lately she lays in there and yells and throws her stuff animals and kicks the wall and come out of her room and slams the door anything she can think of she will do. But today after getting into it with her big time because Mommy is at breaking point with her behavior I left her in there for a while and when back in and told her again that if she doesn't nap she will not get to go in the pool and she needs to start behaving better. I think she actually listened that time and talked nicely too me and I gave her a hug and kiss and she laid down and when to sleep!

She woke up whining something about changing clothes with out her I'm not sure but she stopped. She changed her cloths to her bathing suit while I looked something up online and we looked at pictures of her when she was a baby. Then we went outside to play in the pool and swing and had a VERY nice time.

I'm sure Zach was thrilled when he pulled in the driveway and saw us playing happily together and not arguing or me telling him how awful the day had been. She had a few moments like when it was time to come in for dinner but I stayed clam instead of getting upset and gave a choice. You can either come in the house like a big girl and get ready for dinner and come back out and play after or you can go in the house whining and not come back out to play. She thought for a second and got off the chair she was clinging to and walked nicely in the house!

I've been looking up a bunch of different ways to handle the tantrums and the one I like the best is a little like what my sister said on a comment on my last blog about Riley. It's called a Tantrum place. You pick a spot in the house and let them know when they throw a tantrum they will go to that place or room you tell them "you can come out when you are done." If they come out still going on you take them back and tell them again you can come out when you are done. We haven't used this yet because thankfully she has been good today!

The is also The I message. I FEEL blank WHEN you blank BECAUSE blank. It's making it about you and not them. Also to tell them this a few times a day. I feel happy when you are with me because I love you.

Another good one Which is one I have always known but forgot about using is not say NO & DON'T. Instead of saying stop that, or NO or Don't do that phrase is positively. Please go around and use the steps on the slide so you won't fall and get hurt. I have to say that worked super well today! I only said it once and she stopped trying to climb up the slide and went around tot he other side. She says I climb this way so I won't get hurt.

With Riley is needs a reason for everything and if I would just take the time and give her the reason she will listen. But most of the time I'm so on edge just can't. So like on SuperNanny it's also about training myself!

As for the back talk I haven't come up with a good on yet because most of what i find is for older children. But for know I'm going to do the walk away and tell her she can talk to me when she can talk nicely.

Hopefully this things will work and I won't want to rip my own ears off so i don't have to listen to her. I don't except all days to be super happy but they have to get better then this or I WILL be making a tape to send into Super Nanny! i really wonder what Riley would make of Jo or if Jo would have finally found her match! I hope not because then there is no hope for me!